She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
