Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
