She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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