Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My vagina is officially offended.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
