C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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