If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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