I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
