I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
