Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
