If i come over, it means nothing
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
