I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
