even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
