i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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