I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
