What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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