i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
