he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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