kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize