I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
