it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize