This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
