I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
someone owes me an orgasm
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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