after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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