If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
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