Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize