Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize