So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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