I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
