Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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