Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
