My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
