Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
