Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She told me I should be a condom model.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize