I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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