It's Friday. Sex?
she woke up with a sticky ear
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize