I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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