yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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