you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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