i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
