So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
