I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
