that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
