I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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