The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
