He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Less talking, more tequila
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
