Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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