How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The struggles of a small town man whore
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
