ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
