I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
