I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just want to make out with him forever
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
