why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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