I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
