you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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