dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
