How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's blow job season.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
