hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
