just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
