Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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