I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
