I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
