Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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