you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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