Sry I called you an 8
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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