i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
