a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize